I have three superstitions I live by:
1. No dating all season.
2. Don’t jinx a no-hitter while one’s in progress.
3. Be cold-hearted. If you find something you think about more than baseball, destroy it.
Calliope Thomas is one of those things. Ever since she left a bad review on the Max Energy Drink I endorse, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. Obviously, when she said she hoped I had a losing season, I had to meet her and get her to take the words back.
Now, she’s making me do insane things. Like, obsess over the color of her panties or if I can make her blush. Read superstition one—I don’t do this sort of thing.
I play ball, not chase after a woman I barely know.
But, I am, and she wants nothing to do with me.
She thinks I’m the devil.
And I have to say she makes me want to sin.
I’m becoming a borderline stalker.
And to make matters worse she’s affecting my game.
I can’t pitch.
I can’t hit.
I can’t focus.
Something needs to give, and it won’t be me.